Like many people, when I discovered my Enneagram number, I wanted to curl up in a fetal position in a corner and cry for days. When I learned that my core weakness was anger, I was appalled and embarrassed. How is it possible for someone as calm and collected as me has an issue with anger? I soon understood that resentment- the more fitting word – was a form of anger that it is indeed a very real thing in my life.
A characteristic of a One is self-control. Now that character trait I am proud of. I am a worship and creative arts pastor and being professional, organized and disciplined is part of my job. I can say honestly that I have never chewed out a team member at work. I have never slammed a door or stormed out of room. I weigh every word I say and try not to interject my opinion unless it’s asked for or it’s at the appropriate time. In fact, “Appropriate” is my middle name. (It’s Renee but you get it.)
But just below the surface, resent simmers. It is a constant nuisance and it stirs up some very frustrated thoughts.
Thoughts of resentment that the One may feel toward other numbers:
Twos – Why do you have to constantly ask me what I need instead of simply knowing me well enough to figure it out yourself?
Threes – Why is it so easy for you to bend the rules, embellish the truth or be someone you’re not? How do you sleep at night?
Fours – How can you sit there and wallow in your feelings? I can’t do that because I have work to do!
Fives – I wish I could withdraw from everyone and keep to myself but there’s way too much to do.
Sixes – Why must you question me about everything? Don’t you trust me and my advice?
Sevens – It’s not fair that you can be so carefree when there is so much work to do!
Eights – I wish I could speak the truth as freely as you, but I couldn’t take the criticism that would be hurled at me if I said everything I am thinking.
Nines – Can you please just make a decision already?
Harsh, right? Before you criticize the honesty, realize that the One is already reprimanding themselves for having these thoughts in the first place.
If you are a One and you struggle with thoughts like these, what to you do bring them into alignment with the Gospel? Here’s a couple of scriptures that come to mind:
“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV
“Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.” 1 Peter 3:8 NIV
Be patient with Ones and know that they don’t like dealing with this resentment. They criticize themselves constantly for feeling it. Ones, be patient with those around you, remembering that not everyone sees the world like you do. Offering your gifts to the body of Christ and leave your anger at the feet of Jesus!
Thanks for reading,
Mindy